Reunion

Today was a type of  last supper. The fella's brother came back from Cambodia for Christmas (where he has been for the past year and a half) and this was our last supper with him before he went back.

He has made a lovely life for himself out there, got himself a fantastic job as a Games Developer and got himself a Cambodian girlfriend. I think the fella was really sad to see him go but both were incredibly macho about it.

GAMES

We have spent every evening since Christmas day playing some kind of board game. When I was younger and used to spend with my immediate family and the festivities were over by the time The Queen's speech had finished and my Grandad was asleep on the sofa. Without being melodramatic, my family didn't really have the 'family' thing down so now that I am part of another family, I am making up for things and really enjoying doing so.

JOKES

The jokes just got worse and worse today. I am having so much fun. Today we played all the board games in the house. Balderdash was the house favourite. Everyone laughed so hard.

I love the jokes in the crackers. Stupid jokes make me laugh. Or it have been because my blood supply is now more port than blood. I don't know. But who cares? It's Christmas. Oh wait, it's not anymore.

FAMILY

Christmas Day. Cava. Baileys. Port. Good food.

Cranium. Wii Sports.

Eastenders.

All spent with my fella and his, no, our family.

Good times.

Memories [of me]

Today I went to my Mum's and she was showing me old photos of me. It was really weird to see how little I have changed.

LOVE [conquers all]

Well, I didn't pass my test. I was three questions off passing. I was pretty low when I left the test centre. Initially, I was annoyed with the fella's attempts to cheer me up but when he got me home, made a a few silly faces and a snack for me, I realise I was directing my anger at the wrong person. He always has a way of making me feel better about myself and that things really aren't that bad. I ended up having a lovely day because he was with me. As soppy as it sounds, I know life is beautiful because I have him.

[Self] PITY

I have been revising for something called a Skills Test today. It's a Mathematics test, which I have to passed before I can achieve Qualified Teacher Status (QTS). Maths has never been my strong point, in fact, I hate it. I'd even go as far as to say I have a phobia of it. So as you can imagine, today has not been fun. Early this morning (mornings are when I am at my best), I was getting in the flow, realising I know more than I think I do. But by the end of the day, I was back to self-loathing and pity because I did the online practice test and got more wrong than right. My test is tomorrow morning at 11. I'm shitting bricks. I can repeat this test as many times as I need to until June next year but ideally want it out of the way now so I can concentrate on the things I think actually matter. I am going to bed now filling pretty low about my capabilities.